The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out – William Dameron
“The Lie” is a candid, mostly well-crafted memoir exploring the complexities of self-discovery and lingering shame. William Dameron recounts his life as a closeted, married father whose secrets are steadily consuming him.
The story opens with an unusual twist: strangers begin contacting Dameron, revealing that his photo has been used by catfishers on dating sites. While this incident serves as a hook, those expecting a thrilling pursuit of the imposter may be disappointed. Instead, it becomes a springboard into his broader journey of self-acceptance.
Married young, the author spent years grappling with inner conflicts — body image issues, repressed homosexuality and a lack of fulfillment both personally and professionally. His infatuation with a coworker and attempts to emulate idealized masculinity through steroid use reflect the deep-rooted challenges he faced, shaped by societal expectations and insecurities.
This honest and vulnerable discussion, while deeply personal, resonates universally, especially for queer readers. However, the memoir has some shortcomings.
Dameron’s portrayal of the women in his life — his wife, mother and daughters — is often unflattering, which detracts from the emotional balance of his story. Though he acknowledges his role in creating a strained home environment, he occasionally assigns disproportionate blame to his wife. While Dameron’s quest to authenticity is laudable, he doesn’t deserve sainthood for the choices that ultimately affected his family.
While it does drag in its final third, some earlier criticisms around Dameron’s characterizations begin to resolve as he grows through therapy.
This book may resonate most with those navigating their own later-life transitions, but it’s a niche read that might not appeal beyond its target audience. Not unlike “Out of the Shadows” by Walt Odets.
There are lighter, heartwarming moments, such as Dameron setting up his first dating profile and living with an elderly lesbian couple who act as surrogate fairy godmothers. These touches of humor provide a balance to the memoir’s more introspective and challenging parts.
For readers interested in a nuanced look at coming out later in life, particularly in the mid-2000s – a time when acceptance was growing but still fraught with homophobia and fears of ostracism — “The Lie” offers an authentic, if imperfect, reflection.
Narrated by Will Damron (who is not the author), the audiobook captures the reflective tone of Dameron's prose, though it occasionally feels emotionally distanced from some of the memoir's heavier moments. The narration does, however, maintain a steady pace, making this a relatively easy listen despite the weighty topics.
Rating (story): 3.5/5 stars
Rating (narration): 3/5 stars
Format: Audiobook (personal library)
Dates read: April 17 – April 21, 2024
Multi-tasking: Good to go. I probably would’ve given up on this at the halfway point had it not been for the narration, so if you’re interested in reading this, it is definitely the way to go.
