Mama’s Boy: A Story From Our Americas – Dustin Lance Black

Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar winning screenwriter of “Milk,” is well known in queer communities — for his art, advocacy and power couple status (he’s married to British diver Tom Daley) — but “Mama’s Boy,” named after a slur tossed at him as a pre-teen, has the potential to make him a household name, if only more people would discover this gem.

Part personal memoir, part family history and part cultural commentary, “Mama’s Boy” is nonfiction that follows the formula of quality historical fiction — a strong female character, intersection with landmark events and overcoming barriers both within yourself and from the world around you.

The story traces several generations of Black’s family, people that often found themselves on the fringes of society — whether from income disparity, disability, religion or sexual orientation.

First is his grandmother, Cokie, the wife to an alcoholic and mother to seven children, armed only with a fifth-grade education. She and her husband are two of the only white sharecroppers in segregated Lake Providence, Louisiana, in the 1940s and are barely scrapping by.

Next his is mother, Rose Anna who was three-years-old she was stricken with polio and spent more than a decade in multiple facilities, sometimes facing antiquated and inhuman practices that almost killed her, before making it back home in her late-teens.

Determined for a better life she set off for college with dreams of becoming a physician, and that’s where the trajectory of her life changed forever. I could go on and on about Rose Anna’s life but that would ruin the joy in discovering it for yourself.

Let’s just say her story involves converting to Mormonism; having children despite the medical risks; an abusive second marriage arranged by the Mormon church; building a successful career with the military; and courtship with a handsome, younger military officer.

Despite her hardships, Rose Anna never let life get her down. In fact, she thrived after every setback. Her resilience, courage and love shine through the pages, and Black writes (and narrates) with a cinematic flair that keeps you hooked.

In many ways her experiences seem too crazy to be true, and in that respect this reminded me somewhat of Tara Westover’s “Educated.” Unlike “Educated,” that was solely Tara’s story, about halfway through “Mama’s Boy,” the story pivots to focus almost solely on Black, and the early days of his career in gay Los Angeles in the mid-90s.

While an interesting coming out and behind the scenes Hollywood story, these chapters felt disconnected from the broader narrative, which is strange because it’s Black’s memoir, but his mother is the heart of the story.

When they do start to intersect again — specifically after his coming out which left their relationship icy for a period of time — the subtitle “A Story From Our Americas” starts to take shape.

The last third of the book is almost a manifesto of sorts, with Black using the acceptance of his sexuality from his military-loving, religious and deeply conservative mother as a call-to-action for us all to be more open-minded and forgiving.

Black straddled two mostly disparate worlds almost his entire life. He’s been successful by building bridges that allowed him to advocate for himself and others (he led an anti-Prop 8 organization) in a way that was more organic, and I’ll say, impactful from the “you’re either with me or against me” attitude of modern politics and social change.

When it feels like we cannot find common ground with people that seem beyond reproach — an especially poignant chapter includes Black meeting with Mormon leaders — he challenges us to still look for what connects, not separates, as the way to move us forward.

I needed to hear that message right now. And, I think many of you do as well. This is easily near the top of my best reads of 2021.

Black narrates the audiobook and does a remarkable job considering he’s usually behind the camera instead of in front of it. I don’t often like it when an author reads their own work, but in this case, it adds depth, as he often got emotional recounting his family’s past.

Rating (story): 5/5 stars

Rating (narration): 4/5

Formats: Audiobook (library loan)

Dates read: June 18 - 24, 2021

Multi-tasking: Good to go. I mostly exercised and cleaned while listening.