In the Dream House – Carmen Maria Machado
“In the Dream House” is like nothing I’ve read before, and I still can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.
Part memoir, part historical record and part fever dream, Machado uses her personal experiences to pull back the curtain on an under reported issue — domestic abuse among same sex couples.
My feelings on this deeply personal story are complicated. On the one hand, I was engrossed in the candid and harrowing way Machado recounts her physical and mental abuse at the hands of a girlfriend at the beginning of the ‘10s.
Yet, I was continually distracted by her overly emotive and descriptive language and the experimental format. As Machado regularly points out, she spent years creating defense mechanisms to address the ways she felt alienated by others — her body, her race, her sexuality — and I can’t help but feel that creating a less accessible structure was another one.
Machado is a gifted and creative writer — and this is 100 percent her story so she can tell the way she wants to — but, the delivery created a wall with this reader.
Some of this is also likely due to the audiobook format. It’s difficult to follow overly detailed or non-linear stories through narration, no matter how many audiobooks you listen to.
Plus, Machado delivered her words in a way that felt detached from the subject matter, which isn’t surprising given the years she’s spent processing what happened. I did have to dial-down the narration speed to ensure I wasn’t missing details, something I rarely need to do. All that to say, I cannot recommend this as an audiobook.
The strongest sections are when Machado truly lays bare how a lifetime of small, yet dysfunctional relationships, coupled with insecurity, led her into a cycle of abuse. From being groomed by a youth pastor as a teen to her parents’ volatile marriage, lack of support and acceptance are themes that run through the narrative.
As we enter “the dream house,” and the horrors that occur at the hands of its occupant, Machado shares scenario after scenario of psychological imbalance that manifested as abuse.
In a search for answers as to what she was experiencing, there were few about people like her — queer women. So pop culture, specifically the 1944 film “Gaslight,” “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and classic lesbian literature, were her support.
While “Dream House” didn’t totally work for me, it is an important work. How Machado uses her experiences to raise awareness of the challenges same sex couples face when reporting abuse, to addressing the ways in which the queer community will turn on its own, is important and urgent.
One study found that intimate partner violence in same sex couples was reported in 50 percent of gay men and almost 75 percent of lesbian women. So while more and more people feel comfortable to live their truths, now queer people have the example that was lacking while Machado experienced her own relationship trauma. That representation cannot be undervalued.
Rating (story): 3.5/5 stars
Rating (narration): 2.5/5
Formats: Audiobook (library loan)
Dates read: June 10 - 13, 2021
Multi-tasking: Not recommended. The structure and Machado’s writing requires a lot of concentration.
