The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance – Matt Ortile
Did you read a book or DNF it if you give up at 89 percent?
After enjoying several of the earlier essays, I simply grew tired of Matt Ortile’s judgmental pontificating as I skimmed the first few pages of the namesake — and final — chapter in “The Groom Will Keep His Name” and decided to throw in the towel.
What started as a refreshingly honest exploration of assimilation, discrimination and navigating gay culture, morphed into an increasingly self-righteous and judgmental diatribe against establishments, even though he benefits from many of them. Ultimately this lack of self-awareness alienated me.
Fashioning himself as a gay, Asian Carrie Bradshow, one of his idols growing up, Ortile built his adult life closely after hers — New York City living, media job, fashionable, dates every night and see-and-be-seen socializing — but many essays repeatedly showed he’s actually Samantha: the messy, yet successful friend that can’t get out of his own way.
The writing is confessional mixed with anthropological study, and at first I found it refreshingly honest. Early standout essays, like "Queen Bed '' and "Rice Queens, Dairy Queens," offered a poignant glimpse into the complexities of young adulthood and intersectional identities.
However, as the collection went on I grew tired of the needlessly long essays that had one thesis that was introduced and quickly forgotten in favor of Ortile rehashing the same ideas over and over. This began to feel like an exercise in score settling versus profound observations of his unique experiences as a person of color navigating the mostly white world of Manhattan.
No one can accuse Ortile of not being a gifted writer. The poetic and thought-provoking turns of phrase made this more literary than humorous (which isn’t necessarily what I expected), but his overindulgent vocabulary had me looking up words every few pages, which was distracting.
What I enjoyed most was the perspectives about Philippines history, specifically colonization by both Spain and the U.S., and how those situations continue to influence politics and perception both within the country and for its immigrants, like Ortile and his mother and step father. These sections felt the most comfortable for the author, where he truly understood the message he was trying to convey to his (likely white) readers.
Most everything else fell flat.
While Ortile fashions himself as the put-upon model minority, he is largely a hypocrite against those who don’t share beliefs similar to his own. I will never fully understand Ortile’s place in life, but it’s not because of his minority status, it’s simply because he has a right and wrong view of how people should live their lives — and there’s little gray area involved.
Between the bloat, uneven pacing and self-absorption you’ll quickly find yourself tired of the lecture and wondering how a book that started promisingly can derail so quickly.
Rating (story): 2.5/5 stars
Rating (narration): N/A
Format: eBook (library loan)
Dates read: May 23 – June 8, 2024
Multi-tasking: N/A
