Sitting Pretty – Rebekah Taussig

Since the first Women’s March in January 2017 to the numerous protests about racial injustice in 2020, white, cis-gendered men are — maybe, hopefully, finally — getting closer to understanding the privilege life has afforded them.

Even with all the progress and candid conversations, there is still one group of people largely absent from these discussions — the disabled.

It’s surprising when you think about it, because “disability” is a term that encompasses both the mental and physical, the overt and the covert. There are disabled individuals in every single minority and majority population in the world, but who we view as disabled is largely shaped by our own perceptions.

In “Sitting Pretty,” — a candid, raw, funny, accessible and incredibly eye-opening memoir of essays — Rebekah Taussig expertly breaks down this intersectionality and leads the reader/listener through the multiple ways culture — sometimes in well-meaning ways — has cultivated bias against a population that makes up 26 percent of adults in the United States.

Taussig makes it clear from the beginning that she doesn’t speak for the entire community, and “Sitting Pretty” is not a “how to” book. It’s not preachy or meant to make you feel bad for her. It’s simply her life, and she’s giving us a glimpse of it.

She acknowledges that as a white, cis-gendered woman from a middle-class family, her privileged experience is not the same as many disabled people. Still, many of the situations she shares should shock and embarrass all us able-bodied wannabe saviors. Simply: good intentions often lead to more harm than good.

Some of the biggest “a-ha” moments for me:

Ableism: Taussig defines it as “the process of favoring, fetishizing and building the world around a mostly imagined, idealized body while discriminating against those bodies perceived to move, see, hear, process, operate, look or need differently from that vision. Often, the greater the deviation, the greater the discrimination.”

This belief challenges us to work harder to show our worth or strength, seek out age-defying regimens and participate in unsustainable diets all to achieve an ideal state that not a single person can sustain as we age.

She drives this home with a fact: if we live long enough, we will all experience some form of disability — whether with mobility, vision, hearing or chronic health. With that in mind, does it change the way you view people living with a disability?

Pop culture: We know the entertainment industry has, historically, reinforced and normalized oppressive beliefs. While the way many minority groups are represented have evolved for the better over the past 20 years, there’s a lot of work to be done when it comes to those with physical disabilities. It’s not simply casting these actors and actresses; it’s how disability is used as a plot point.

Taussig calls out several examples, but the one I found most shocking was “Get Out.” The entire “why” behind the film is that aging white people want the able bodies of Black people. In a film that flipped the script in so many ways, one of culture’s most pervasive ideas — that someone with a disability wishes to be able-bodied — is the core of the story.

Connecting to Able-Bodied Women: In many of her essays, Taussig describes feeling like an outsider at various points in her life. She describes in detail how she often feels disconnected from the experiences of able-bodied women. And, not in the ways you might think — she’s been married (twice), has a child, career, etc., all the societal hallmarks of being a “successful” woman.

It’s more in reconciling how her experiences will always be different, but not in the obvious ways. She recounts being at a cocktail party where several attendees discuss frustration with unwanted male attention and catcalling. Taussig only recalls being cat-called at one time in her life, and she enjoyed it because it made her feel desired. Imagine trying to bring that into a conversation?

I could go on and on about what Taussig’s story taught me, but instead I’ll recommend that every single person should read this book. Period. It led to a lot of self-reflection and provided clear ideas on how to be an advocate and ally.

Rating (story): 5/5 stars

Rating (narration): 3/5 stars (narrated by the author)

Format: Audiobook (library loan)

Dates read: September 30- October 3, 2020

Multi-tasking: Okay, but you’ll want to concentrate on what she is saying.