A Conversation About “The Woman in Me” by Britney Spears
For a generation of Millennial readers, the release of Britney Spears’ memoir was a landmark moment: the opportunity for our beloved superstar to say her piece after more than a decade of forced silence. As a lifelong fan, it is difficult for me to be unbiased in my assessment of the narrative crafted with ghostwriter Sam Lansky, so I once again invited my friend Heather to discuss it.
What struck us both is that it didn’t provide much clarity or understanding to watershed moments in the pop star's life. It was, overall, heavy on information but light on introspection. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
A: Let’s start with snap judgements: what would your star-rating be for the book and why?
H: Somewhere between two-and-a-half stars and three stars, and that’s a reflection of the storytelling. I struggled with the frenetic structure. It jumped around frequently and many topics felt unfinished.
A: This seems to be the difference between people who listened to the audiobook, like me, versus people who read the book, like you. I gave the memoir itself a solid four stars, but Michelle Williams provided a five-star narration, and based on what you said, added a lot of calm and gravitas to the story that was lacking in the text.
H: There were multiple times I wondered, “did I skip a page?” “Is there a section missing from this book” because a situation would be introduced and then dropped. There were too many unfinished things and missing pieces.
A: Outside of her relationship with Justin Timberlake there wasn’t a lot of depth or introspection. It often felt like a robust outline for an upcoming film. Skim the “highlights” to make sure everything fits into a two-and-a-half hour movie.
H: I frequently thought about the Jessica Simpson autobiography and how well constructed it was. She dove into things that were really significant and expanded upon things that had been in the public. She started peeling the onion, but it felt like Britney just gave us the onion. Books like this need to be a window into what was happening. I’m not placing any sort of blame or judgment against her, but she left a lot open to interpretation.
A: I was expecting some acknowledgement that occasionally her decisions didn’t put her in the best light, like her 55-hour marriage.
H: Perception is reality in a lot of ways, particularly when you're going to court to try to petition for custody of your children. In those moments – shaving her head, using the umbrella to beat a car – she wasn’t looking like a person that had her life together, and there was little ownership of that. She was providing a narrative that wasn’t necessarily accurate.
A: Anyone who has watched one of the “Free Britney” documentaries got a lot of background on the Britney mythology, but she did share some nuggets of information that were previously not discussed, like the tragic way many of the women in the family have been treated by the men.
H: I was very confused by the opening of the book that discussed her grandparents, but later it made sense in the context of the conservatorship when we see the pattern in how this family handles women in distress. Drug them up and put them into a mental institution.
A: It fed into the idea that the conservatorship was a broader conspiracy by her family from the beginning. They were all on the payroll, saw what was happening and worried about losing their meal ticket more than their daughter, in my opinion.
H: The definition of a conservatorship is you're no longer mentally able to make decisions, and she made some valid points about the work she was expected to perform. They were putting her on tour. They were having her record music. They were having her do some press. What happened in these legal proceedings that made that okay, and justified her being controlled?
A: You can't say that Britney was not capable and competent while simultaneously being the figurehead of a multimillion dollar organization.
H: Reliving those moments was interesting, because she’s a very public figure that we have grown up with. I don't think we would be having this kind of dialogue if we were reading a memoir about, say, Paul McCartney, because we’d have to take everything shared at face value because we didn't experience it ourselves. But we saw these stories and were indoctrinated by the media to believe Britney was unfit, and it begs the question – what role did consumers play in her downfall?
A: Frequently, I felt very complicit thinking back to how obsessed I was over the gossip. Going to Perez Hilton’s website multiple times per day and clicking on all the articles about her, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson. The tabloids – and even mainstream media – were big contributors to her downfall.
H: Think about it from the other side too. She had more control than I think she realizes even now. She could’ve disappeared for a bit and not enabled them to tell stories about her. She mentioned trying to use the media for her own gain, but she used them wrong.
A: 100 percent. She didn’t know how to do it, and she didn’t have the team or support system in place to help her do it right. She said frequently that she didn’t know how to “play the game” and unfortunately this was a significant contributor to the conservatorship.
H: I still don’t think she has a support system in place. Her Instagram account is not, in my opinion, reflective of a 41-year-old woman who said in her book that she wants to just focus on being a mom and taking care of her kids. She has a real platform to control the narrative, but there still is not a narrative coming out from her.
A: Any final takeaways?
H: I really wanted more. I think it answered some questions, but writing a book is about correcting a narrative – a perception. That's why Jessica Simpson wrote hers when she did. That's why Harry released his book this year. I'd imagine that's why Elliot Page wrote his too. With this one, there was no narrative to steer. It was a lot of free-flowing thoughts, and I struggled with that.
A: Fair point. There wasn't so much a narrative as there was just, “here's my perspective of what happened to me” with very little correction of perception.
H: I really wish I would’ve listened to it.
A: Michelle Williams’ impersonation of Justin Timberlake meeting Ginuwine should be required listening.
Rating (story): 4/5 stars
Rating (narration): 5/5 stars
Format: Audiobook (library loan)
Dates read: October 24 – October 25, 2023
Multi-tasking: Good to go. As noted, it skips around a lot but Williams keeps things moving in a way the text doesn’t.
