The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise – Colleen Oakley

Expectation: A quasi-retelling of the classic film but with a May-December friendship and some lower (i.e. not deadly) stakes. 

Reality: Absolutely garbage. 

My Take:

“The Mostly True Story of Tanner and Louise” is a very loose re-imagining of “Thelma and Louise” that tarnishes the legacy of that film in ways that feel regressive to its messages of empowerment, rebellion and patriarchy dismantling. 

Rife with scenarios only plausible in a world where people — let’s be clear: wealthy white people — can get away with anything (even as a convicted felon) there was little funny, cute or entertaining in this tonally inconsistent dreck. 

I’m the first to admit this genre — beach reads — is not my usual fare, but I wanted to read something lighter, and the premise of an octogenarian and a vicenarian on the lam was interesting enough to motivate me. 

After completing this novel, which I should’ve given up on at the 50 percent mark, I wonder if fans of this genre would also find it as terrible as I did. While the overall message of bridging generational divides and bouncing back is laudable, it’s about the only nice thing I can say about Colleen Oakley’s story. 

The characters live in a world where every low stake situation is given outsized importance while legitimately high stakes are after thoughts. If you were a felon with a BOLO would you think it would be a good idea to stop at the Gateway Arch, a National Park with a law enforcement presence, while in possession of a gun? Tanner and Louise think it is!

Oakley gives our main characters every lazy stereotype imaginable. Tanner is an amalgamation of Gen Z  privilege — unable to take a joke, unmotivated, gives up easily, outraged at everything, etc. — while Louise is proud and independent while also being incredibly manipulative. 

Every ancillary character is a caricature. I could’ve had a BINGO card for all the tropes: disengaged yuppie children, the hot neighbor, the lovesick, lonely and career-driven detectives, the washed-up mob boss, etc. In other words, all boring.  

My breaking point, however, was when August — the hot neighbor/mechanic/single father/criminal with a heart of gold — comes to Louise’s and Tanner’s aid, even though he knows they are being trailed by the FBI and he’s (also) a convicted felon. Like, how stupid are you? Especially when you wax nostalgic about your past mistakes and how much time you lost with your daughter. 

To sum it up, “Mostly” was utter idiocy. I felt stupider listening to it. It made me actively angry. Had it been done as camp, I could’ve allowed myself to enjoy it more, but since it was played straight, every plot point was a reminder of how ridiculous it all was — and not in a good way.

The audiobook was narrated by Hillary Huber, and I did enjoy her performance of Louise, however she presented Tanner as a shrill fuddy duddy. Even if this was stellar narration, it wouldn’t have changed the fact the novel is garbage. 

Rating (story): 1.5/5 stars

Rating (narration): 3/5 stars

Formats: Audiobook (library loan)

Dates read: April 4 – April 8, 2023

Multi-tasking: Good to go. Anything you can do to keep your mind off how ridiculous this story is, the better.