Gender Queer – Maia Kobabe

Note: Maia Kobabe uses e/em/eir pronouns – also referred to as Spivak pronouns – and that is how I will be referencing em throughout this review. Any errors in usage are unintentional.

I picked up “Gender Queer,” solely because it was the most challenged or banned book in 2021 due to “LGBTQIA+ content, and because it was considered to have sexually explicit images.”

Before diving into my thoughts on the ban, I’d first like to say that I found Maia Kobabe’s exploration of gender, sexuality and pronouns to be informative and well done.

It’s not an easy topic to describe, because most of the world cannot relate, and therefore can only understand Kobabe’s experiences at a theoretical level — if they choose to try and understand it at all.

There’s a lot of bravery to what Kobabe has done here — both in laying bare eir struggles — and in attempting to explain how and when these ideas first appeared. The reader gets an intimate and frank view of eir journey to understanding, acceptance and coming out.  

E addresses many topics that I know people are unclear about, including how questions about eir gender first manifested, how e became sure of em identity and in understanding — and embracing — asexuality. 

I left the reading feeling more informed and better able to challenge people who are quick to dismiss Kobabe’s journey as a fad or attention seeking (you know, the argument du jour for banning LGBTQIA+ content these days). While only representative of one experience, it is still a powerful tool for empathy building and education.

My only criticism is that the narrative is choppy at times, and Kobabe does pose some scenarios without giving resolution, but overall, I would recommend this to others. The illustrations are engaging, and the writing is straightforward and practical, a feat considering how personal the topic is.

Okay, now on to the ban.

Let me be clear, I do not support the exercise of banning books out of fear or confusion over the subject matter. I do, however, support the idea of material being age appropriate for the venue in which it is offered.

Therefore, “Gender Queer” provides a bit of a catch-22.

It’s probably best suited for readers 14+, but it could be life changing to younger readers experiencing puberty and questioning who they are. This is the time when Kobabe said e started to question em gender identity — and when I first noticed my same sex attraction — but these are the people being denied access to the material through school libraries.

Why? Because there are graphic depictions of menstruation, medical procedures (pap smear) nudity and sexual situations. However, it is in no way, shape or form pornographic as many challengers have stated. In fact, viewing it as erotica means an individual has completely misunderstood Kobabe’s experiences.

I don’t have an easy answer here. Does it belong in elementary or middle school libraries? Probably not, but I’m saying that acknowledging that kids can find much more graphic material online and through streaming platforms than what they will find here.

However, kids and teens still need easy access to “Gender Queer,” hopefully through a public library, where they can check it out and read it without fear, shame or potential repercussion.

Those of us who have had to come out understand that when you are questioning your identity or sexuality, you are likely not going to bring those thoughts forward to a loved one. Instead, you’re going to seek out information — books, movies, television, music — to help provide clarity.

If you are someone that feels “Gender Queer” is inappropriate, or are worried that it will corrupt young minds, I’d encourage you to speak to someone whose experiences are not the same as your own. Only then will you fully understand why this book could be lifesaving.

For that reason, I will fight to keep “Gender Queer” available.

Rating (story): 4/5 stars

Rating (narration): N/A

Formats: eBook (library loan)

Dates read: May 25 – May 26, 2022

Multi-tasking: N/A