A Children’s Bible – Lydia Millet

100-Word (or Less) Synopsis: With their parents too busy enjoying a debauched vacation to notice the possible end of times, a group of teenagers is forced to save themselves.

Expectation: A moody, intelligent apocalyptic tale for modern times.

Reality: A mess.

Recommended For: No one.

Why I Read It: It was nominated for the 2020 National Book Award for Fiction.

My Take:

What even is this novel?

Is it a retelling of the actual Bible during modern times? Is it a parable about modern society destroying the innocence of children? Is it a call-to-arms against climate change? Is it a thinly veiled exposé on classism?  

Whatever it is, I didn’t like it.

In less than 230-pages Lydia Millet created one my most confusing and disjointed reading experiences this year, and I’m struggling to see how the heaps of praised bestowed on this novel are justified.

Sure, the writing is fine, but this felt far from original.

Even though I’m not a religious person, the Bible comparisons were about as subtle as a chainsaw. If you want a “Once Upon a Time” mishmash of Noah, Adam and Eve, Sodom and Gomorrah, Moses and the Plagues of Egypt – here’s your chance.

All that to say, there are too many characters, too many plots and subplots and not enough cohesion to make this feel like anything other than a fever dream.

Xe Sands, an audiobook all-star who did a phenomenal job as co-narrator of “The Book of Accidents,” couldn’t even save this mess. I should’ve DNF’d after about 30 percent.

Maybe I missed the point. Maybe there is no point. Regardless, this one can be skipped.

Rating (story): 2/5 stars

Rating (narration): 3/5

Formats: Audiobook (library loan)

Dates read: August 18 - 24, 2021

Multi-tasking: Encouraged.