All About Love: New Visions – bell hooks
My experience with “All About Love: New Visions” is a classic example of being enthusiastic about reading an author for the first time but selecting a book that probably isn’t the best representation of her body of work — for me anyway.
hooks’ essays on love were exactly what I was expecting and not what I expected at all given the authors’ reputation. While delivering her famous explorations of intersectionality — in this case the internal and external factors that influence how we love ourselves and others — it was also deeply religious and more self-help in nature than expected.
A fair amount of my engaged apathy also comes from the fact that love isn’t a topic I’ve thought much about. It’s always been effortless and abundant in my life, which after reading hooks’ perspective, highlighted a lot of previously unknown privilege.
And through this avenue is where I was able to connect with this text. Specifically, how it made me think of love — found, felt and lost — as a connective thread that impacts every facet of your life. It challenged me. It frustrated me. It spoke to me. These are all testaments to the transcending power of hooks as a writer, researcher and critic.
Before highlighting some of the elements that struck a nerve with me, I want to highlight a few things that didn’t. Either from my lack of understanding or personal interpretation of the essays themselves.
As someone who is not spiritual, religious or New Age, many of these elements felt heavy-handed and also a tad counterintuitive. hooks often talked about social structures, specifically patriarchy, as barriers to love, yet many people view religion as one of the primary social structures meant to oppress, and it was brought forward here as an avenue to finding love.
Elements of it haven’t aged well, specifically this description of Monica Lewinsky (keep in mind the book was published in 1999): A “young woman who manipulates facts and details, and ultimately prostitutes herself by selling her story for material gain because she is greedy for fame and money, and society condones this get-rich-quick scheme.” (full acknowledgment this is out of context, but it was still terrible in context).
hooks is a well-known queer writer, but she exclusively talked about heterosexual relationships. Any references to the LGBTQIA+ community were framed around sexual preference, which is likely a product of the time but still jarring and dangerous language. Maybe she was talking about same sex love and was encouraged to change pronouns for the masses, but I expected more queer representation in the text.
You might be thinking, “wow, you still gave four stars to a book it seems like you didn’t enjoy,” but here’s why I kept reading: I was absolutely shook by some of her ideas. Like, I had to put down the book and go for a walk to process, shook. Here’s a few of the moments that did it:
Everything about love and the patriarchy, which was single-handedly the most fascinating topic in the book. She approaches it from multiple angles: how men are raised to view love versus women; male domination creating an autocratic, fascist home life; how patriarchy makes us believe there is an inferior and superior party and maintaining power and control is tantamount to all else — so incredibly relevant given many of the racial and queer discussions happening over the past several years — and, finally, why many straight white men are so unhinged about basically everything.
I was also particularly struck by her exploration of love and work. Sample quote: “Often, workers believe that if their home life is good, it does not matter if they feel dehumanized or exploited on the job. Many jobs undermine self-love because they require workers to constantly prove their worth. Individuals who are dissatisfied and miserable on the job bring this negative energy home.” This whole section resonated with me deeply and made me think about how I approach my Monday through Friday activities.
There were also chapters that focused on the anthropological view of love, the importance of love in social justice movements and the trust we have for one another, public policy informed by love (think about this in the context of mask mandates), narcissism and the importance of not devaluing friendship over romantic love.
There were many topics that met me in places I didn’t know I needed a nudge. hooks also advocated for the practice of daily affirmations as a way to embrace a loving mindset, and I’ve started putting this into practice. While I can’t say it has made a huge difference for me to date, it’s something that shows I’m prioritizing loving myself so I can better love others.
Is this for you? You probably already know the answer, but I can guarantee anyone that reads it will find something worthwhile.
To close this already too long review, I’ll leave you with three quotes that showed hooks’ poetic beauty:
“It is easier to articulate the pain of love’s absence than to describe its presence and meaning in our lives.”
“Our first home in the womb is also a grave where we await the coming life.”
“Love knows no shame. To be loving is to be open to grief, to be touched by sorrow, even sorrow that is unending. The way we grieve is informed by whether we know love.”
Rating (story): 4/5 stars
Rating (narration): N/A
Formats: eBook (library loan)
Dates read: February 9 – February 21, 2023
Multi-tasking: N/A
